I Can't Work With People, But I Can Grow A Community

Feb 21
4 min read

If you looked at my resume from 10 years ago, you would probably think I was unemployable.

Before 2015, I was working full-time in the engineering and security industries. In engineering, I couldn’t last more than three months in most companies. The longest I stayed was one year — and honestly, that was only because I was on permanent night shift. I could sneak away in the middle of my shift and go karaoke. I don’t think I ever completed a full week of work properly. On days I didn’t show up, I even got a friend to help punch my attendance card.

Working there felt like heaven — until my contract ended and was not renewed.

Before that, things were worse.

On my first day at one company, I left during lunch and never came back. In another, I had a huge quarrel with a colleague and ended up holding a hammer in my hand.

At yet another, I was caught sleeping in the staircase by my supervisor. I woke up… and went to another staircase to continue sleeping.

Looking back, it sounds funny. But it also shows something deeper.

I just couldn’t work with people.

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From Engineering to Security — Same Pattern, Different Uniform

After I gave up engineering, I moved into security. I thought maybe I just hadn’t found the right industry.

In security, I actually started to excel. Many colleagues were older, close to retirement, or had given up trying to build a career. I saw opportunity. I took course after course. I upgraded myself. I fed myself knowledge. I changed companies for better prospects.

But the pattern was still there.

I fought even more than before — mostly with superiors and patrons.

I remember once being asked my name.

“John,” I said.

“John who?”

“John Travolta.”

I thought it was hilarious.

Another time, my shift ended and the next person was late. I knew I wasn’t getting paid overtime, so I just left my post empty. They panicked. My manager had to rush down and cover the position himself.

Then there was the command center incident. My manager kept instructing me what to do. I believed my way was better. I told him to do it himself and walked out. I can still hear him shouting, “Mus, where are you going? Come back here!”

I replied, “Don’t naughty. Just sit inside quietly.”

I laugh when I tell these stories. But the truth is simple:

I couldn’t follow instructions.

I couldn’t conform to culture.

Even when I followed SOP, it still felt wrong because the environment didn’t align with my values.

It wasn’t that I thought I knew everything.

I just couldn’t work under people.

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2015 — When Everything Changed

In 2015, I started running group classes.

And something strange happened.

I was suddenly happy being around people.

Not colleagues. Not bosses. But students.

When I started building my Muay Thai gym, everything felt different. I cared about the people in front of me. I wanted to see them grow — not just in fitness, but in confidence, discipline, and life.

Maybe I was sincere.

Maybe they could feel it.

For the first time in my life, I wasn’t resisting people. I was investing in them.

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The Birth of a Community

Over the years, we organized events:

• 5 series of Internal Affairs Kickboxing Championship

• 16 series of Nak Muay Championship

• Courses, seminars, fight nights

And here’s what many people don’t see.

When I needed help, I didn’t have to beg for it.

My members volunteered.

They helped set up rings.

They handled registration.

They stood for hours.

They did tiring, thankless jobs — without complaint.

No one forced them.

They expected nothing, but only to join hands to see the event run smoothly.

They simply showed up.

That’s when I realized something:

I may not be good at working with people. But I am good at building a community.

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What Is a Community, Really?

A community is often defined as a group of people who share a common interest, location, or identity. It implies belonging, shared values, mutual support, and collective growth.

Yes, my community shares one common interest — Muay Thai.

But that’s not the real glue.

The real glue is heart.

My members don’t just love Muay Thai. They love helping one another. They support each other’s fights. They support my events. They support other gyms. They support the local Muay Thai scene in Singapore.

Different ages.

Different races.

Different backgrounds.

But inside the gym, we are one.

That is community.